Fluffy things

If my online brand is cute things on the internet and openly available then I guess I will use this time of crisis to recommend resources to get us through. Some of this might only be available in Canada, my bad.

Land & Sea, “The Perfect Little Goat” (2007, CBC Newfoundland)

D was asleep on the couch but I was not, so I scrolled through CBC Gem looking for wholesome content. Land & Sea NFLD > Season 48 > scroll down > this sounds lovely. We have been planning a trip to Newfoundland since the day of my now-manager’s job interview, and I was on the hiring committee. It was the day my boo met my work pals for the first time, and he arrived after lunch, where the candidate takes a little break and the conversations around the table get more social by telling us about the volunteer puffin patrol in St. John’s, where wayward baby puffins – pufflings – get disoriented and need to be picked up on land. A bunch of people I really like came here from St. John’s so I wanted to watch something that reminded me of of them. Anyways, meet some friendly goats, including one who, after getting blowdried at the groomer, goes through the drive-thru to get a donut. It is not from 2013, the metadata’s incorrect.

The Nature of Things, “Puffin Patrol” (2016? who knows, CBC)

See above. Maybe we will get to cycle Newfoundland this summer, who knows. The Nature of Things > Season 55

Buddy (2018, Heddy Honigmann)

In Dutch with English subtitles, described video available. I am halfway through this exceptionally strong doc on guide dogs, I stopped it so we could watch it together in the morning. I spent exactly 30 hours in Amsterdam and the only Dutch word I came home with was “geleidehond”. Buddy features people who live with service dogs, and the incredibly intimate relationships they have. It foregrounds the different access needs of real disabled people, not their surrogates, smashes stereotypes, and is also cute and charming. These dogs are legit The Best Buddies.

Sitting at the bar I told you everything

I should cancel Spotify. I keep saying I will. My year-end playlist contained two artists: Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and Sharon Van Etten. I am buying real albums again and calling into our local campus radio station with requests.

This was always my favourite song off Are We There but it took me years to actually watch the video.

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nobody will ever see this

As I grapple with feelings pertaining to signing my name to words and the unpredictability of audiences in the digital dogpile era, the thought that nobody will ever see this is a positive affirmation at times. In other frames of my life the statement served other purposes: as a young freelance designer with a technically solid but un-hip and boring portfolio, nobody will ever see what I have to offer. As a library worker, it was the two straight weeks I spent nearly in tears in the sub-basement of the building, unpacking and numbering thousands of mineral potential maps that arrived some decades before, and were casually deemed unimportant enough to languish in the backlog. They sent us two copies of each, so half of them were immediately. “If we don’t have them in the collection already then we’re keeping them,” I was told. For reasons I will not get into here, I had reason to believe it was a punishment of sorts. Nobody will ever see this. It took several months to get them all into the collection and I am very happy that the student who helped me on this uses me as a reference. Nobody will ever see this. I don’t think anyone will ever benefit from our months of work.

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Fixing (and) fear

My car is making a weird noise but maybe it isn’t. I took a dude’s advice on my saddle height on my touring bike and ended up in the hospital. In the absence of appropriate tools, pieces of furniture I assemble might be a little loose. When I say fix I mean quietly making the problem go away, or back to the way it was before. In an attempt to fix things myself I bought a hacksaw, a bolt extractor, a set of drill bits, and a tool that ultimately did the trick. I don’t know what it is called but I have fond memories of the weekend we walked to Canadian Tire and wandered until we found the item we didn’t know how to describe so we did not ask for help. Why is the act of fixing material things sometimes so intimidating? I knew I loved you when I learned that you do not judge me when I don’t know.

I am one of the facilitators of the Information Maintainers community, where we discuss issues related to the day-to-day work that keeps complex systems afloat, and endeavour to recognize the people behind information access. I enjoy helping folks bring their files and archives from past to future. I don’t judge people when they come to me needing specialist software or data support, why do I get so scared needing particular kinds of help – when things are involved? I have come very far in the last few years, now that I no longer instinctively brace for humiliation when I speak up, unsure.

  • _v2
  • _v3
  • _chapter2
  • _chapter2_final
  • _chapter2_final_withcomments
  • _chapter2_final_ugh
  • create new folder and start from scratch and never look down that file path inside

Sometimes it is easier to write hard feelings through lists, schematics, finding aids, reference works.

The colours

From 2000-2002 I was a stoner undergrad who studied art history because it was the only thing I was any good at with respect to anyone else in highschool. I was a solid bottom 15% kid at a school for smart kids that left all of us middle-class kids with serious mental health issues as adults, while all the rich kids became management consultants or war criminals. My father died during my first year of undergrad leaving me traumatized, dropping out of school, and now I choose to not dwell on my 20s, ever.

For a brief period of time in the winter of 2002 I fell into abstract art and got it for a hot minute. The rest of the time I was smoking weed and crying. I love Donald Judd and this video makes me love him more.